My year 2012 resolutions

1.      I will stop reading newspaper in toilet.

2.      I will stop eating mouth freshener after smoking. Trust me it never helps. I always get busted.

3.      I will stop spitting in public places. I will also stop staring at people who in turn are staring at me for my deeds.

4.      I will stop peeing while swimming.

5.      I will be honest when i will fart.

6.      I will stop checking out chicks from the side car mirrors.

7.      I will stop peeping into neighbours smartphone or laptop in train and bus.

8.      I will stop noticing people who dye their hairs.

9.      I will stop cleaning my nose with my finger. If i will do, then i will avoid shaking hands with people.

10.  I will not check Gmail and Facebook every 5 minutes.

11.  I will not 'Like', 'Comment' or 'Post' stupid statuses on Facebook.

12.  I will not respond to any stupid apps, games requests on Facebook.

13.  I will close my twitter account. Sorry to all those who are still thinking to follow me on twitter.

14.  I will not ask friends to click on the ads on my websites.

15.  I will not remove my USB drive unless it is “safe to remove”.

16.  I will not right click and refresh the desktop for no reason.

17.  I will not forward texts and emails to bring me luck.

18.  I will not pick up my bosses call when i am with my wife.

19.  I will not pick up my wife’s call when i am with my boss.

20.  I will not pick up my bosses call or wife’s call when i am in toilet.

21.  I will not forget my marriage anniversary.

22.  I will not argue with my wife. I am tired of losing.

23.  I will not purposely forget my credit card at home before shopping with wife.

24.  I will avoid going to mobile and iPad stalls in a mall with wife.  I will go to the home decor section.

25.  I will not take my family to watch geeky movies.

26.  I will eat dinner with family without TV or Laptop.

27.  I will stop watching south-indian dubbed Hindi movies on star gold channel.

28.  I will not tell watchman to bring potatoes, onions or milk.

29.  I will wash my jeans after wearing it 3 times.

30.  I will stop writing stupid blogs.